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LOL It’s true! Hillary Clinton wants to be a preacher!

Supposedly it would be under the auspices of the Methodist faith. Methodists will be so proud to have Hillary at the helm of their organization. It’ll be like the Kabbalah Center touting Madonna as the face (and whatever else) for their brand.

I don’t know if the Methodist Church is an evil front for Lucifer, but I do know from first hand experience that the Kabbalah Center is.

Sorry for the tangent. Anywaaay…

Hillary Clinton’s Pastor (who knew she had one?) Rev. Bill Shillady spilled the beans. Hillary’s had her eyes on the pulpit for some time now. Even the one that drifts.

The Washington Times reports,

Shillady has a new book out, “Strong for a Moment Like This: The Daily Devotions of Hillary Rodham Clinton.” And within, are “365 of the more than 600 devotions written for Clinton, along with personal notes, portions of her speeches and headlines that provide context for that day’s devotion,” publisher Abingdon Press announced….

Clinton wants to preach,” the Atlantic wrote. “That’s what she told Bill Shillady … at a recent photo shoot for his new book about the daily devotionals he sent her during the 2016 campaign. . [Rev. Bill said} ministry has always been a secret dream of the two-time presidential candidate: (translation 2 time loser) Last fall, the former Newsweek editor Kenneth Woodward revealed that “Clinton told him in 1994 that she thought ‘all the time’ about becoming an ordained Methodist minister.” Apparently, Clinton asked Woodward to keep a lid on the hope,… She thought it would “make me seem much too pious.”

Cha-ching! Praise the Lord and pass the casket uh, basket!

It does make sense. Now that the heartwarming  “charity,” The Clinton Foundation has crashed and burned, it’s the perfect time for a Holy cash cow!

Yeah, a church can be a great way to make some big bucks. Just ask L. Ron Hubbard. She’s got the fear and intimidation thing down pat.  Plus she’s already got a loyal congregation  of worshiping Hillbots, many of whom are celebrities. Will Tom Cruz succumb to the temptation and convert?

And if she’s going for a Rev. Jim Jones thing, who’s a better master of suiciding people than Reverend Hillary?

Hillary’s an innovator. Just as she wanted to shred our constitution to her liking, she’s gonna wanna revamp those pesky 10 commandments….

The 10 Commandments- Rev. Hillaryized:
  1. Thou shalt have no other gods before Lucifer.
  2. Thou shalt not make false idols. Only the DNC, the MSM and the entertainment industry can do that.
  3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord of Darkness in vain. Only call on Lucifer when you want something really, really bad or he gets wicked pissed.
  4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it wholly awesome. Like with black walls, lots of drippy candles, a pentagram, a crying baby and a sharp knife.
  5. Honor your father and your mother with a nice burial if they piss you off. Be sure to check the will first.
  6. Thou shalt not murder directly. Always hire hit men.
  7.  Thou shalt not commit adultery while napping or having a seizure. And be sure to have a sham marriage so no one gets hurt.
  8.  Thou shalt not steal anything cheap or tacky. Go for the good stuff.
  9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor. Just pick one. It’s OK to lie about everyone else. Especially if they get in your way.
  10. Thou shalt not covet. It’s a frikkin’ waste of time. Just  take it for Godssakes.
Credit where credit is due. It’a a pretty good career move.

Word has it that there’s a shortage of good ministers on the inside.

The High Priestess of the Luciferian Left will be sure to inspire the other inmates. Sadly, they can only trade a packa smokes for her sermons, but she can probably tap into some of her fellow elite gang-bangers on the outside to rake in some big bucks.

Those inmates betta watch their back. They’re about to meet a real  gangsta.

Preach it Sista!

What else do you foresee in the Church of Hellery? Comment below!

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Sources

The Washington Times

 

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