Not fake news-Hillary may become a Professor at Columbia University.
Hillary Clinton, the menopausal Barbie doll, complete with a colorful array of pantsuits and kitten heels, was offered up to the American public to replace the black Ken doll who schtooped her out of the throne in ’08. “Liberals” still weep, knowing that their “strong woman” role playing doll would have blown this country up better than any ol’ white-ass alpha-male macro-aggressive GI Joe could. Anyway now their Hillary feminazi action figure might don a professorial pantsuit.
A new career path for Hills
Hillary would be hobbling and coughing it up in the halls of the White House if not for that damned Russia, Bernie Sanders, the DNC, James Comey, Breitbart, chauvinism, sexism, misogyny, the Leftstream media, Wikileaks and Pepe the Frog.
What’s a girl to do?
Get plastered, eat gallons of ice cream, walk in the woods and return to the public eye-refreshed and ready to whine, moan, complain and blame. All the great qualities you’d expect in a world leader and a “strong woman.”
Just a couple of months ago Hillary was toying with the idea of pleasing her Lord Lucifer by becoming a preacher. That dream faded faster than a Bill Clinton quickie on a Tuesday night.
Then she kept pushing the whole author thingie. Her blame game tome “What Happened” spiraled her to the enviable position of signing books in the toilet paper aisle at Costco. Sellout celebs humored her on the talk show circuit. Good times.
The Hillary saga may have a new chapter.
She might become a college professor at Columbia. Students can pay upwards of $70,000 a year to listen to- that voice.
Hopefully she’ll lecture in one o’ those big stadiums instead of a classroom. Getting up close and personal to that durable adult diaper could make it hard to focus.
They’re just “in talks” so there’s no official contract. We’re just going to have to guess at some of the details. Gosh! With her experience and skill-set there’s no limit to what she could bring to the table at Columbia University.
Here’s a short list of some of the classes she could be asked to teach:
- Career Criminal Law-lessness
- Crisis Engineering
- Earth and Environmental Racketeering
- Untraceable Conflict Resolution
- Exploitative Economics
- Lucrative Nonprofit Management
- Diabolical Planning, Execution and Allocation
- Ethnic Studies-the Artful Power of Divisiveness
- Personal History Denial
- Infanticide for Public Health
- Uranium Sales and Nuclear Proliferation for Fun and Profit
- Investing in the Media
- Leveraging Public Trust for Profit
- Risk Management-Hiring Practices
- Child Sex Trafficking 101
- Data Removal
- Gun Running Policies and Actual Practices
- Backdoor Negotiating With Nazis,Terrorists and Russians
- Introduction to Coup Launching and Regime Change
- Voodoo and Other Dark Tools for Workplace Conflicts
- Business Economics and Mismanagement
- Break the Glass Ceiling by Riding Your Serial Rapist Husband’s Coattails
- Gender Studies -(wallet card available at campus bookstore)
- Chauvinism, Sexism and Misogyny-Mantras and Breathless Techniques
It could be another Clinton “two for one.”
Just think-she and her daughter could become work colleagues. Chelsea currently teaches at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health as an “Adjunct Assistant Professor” for health policy and management. If you remember her having any experience in that field please comment below. Drawing a blank over here.
So it’s another family affair. Will Bill be wooed next? There’s plenty of young students who’d be happy to get an easy “A.” And since Libs don’t have a problem with him hitting on anyone, it’ll be a veritable student smorgasbord. Job perk!
Important tips and information
Tip for Columbia Operations-get an extra lock on the safe.
Tip for Columbia staff- Have your script ready in case you’re asked to donate to the Clinton Foundation. Remove photos of your young children and grandchildren from your desk. Don’t let her use your computer without your supervision.
Tip for students-Don’t be late with assignments, and never, ever question her or disagree with her. Try not to make eye contact. You don’t want to piss off Professor Hillary. Seriously, most of us would much prefer the wrath of a scowling, sexually frustrated nun breaking our knuckles with a ruler over getting a couple of bullets to the back of the head.
For parents eager to expose their child to a pathological professor, contact Columbia University. Call 1-800 -BODYBAG.
Any other ideas for classes Hillary might teach? Comment below so they don’t get lost in the facebook feed!